The Report on being an American! 6/8/2001

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over that wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I believe that no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osborne, Ice T, or Marilyn Manson sang.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called Boy Scouts for a reason.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.

I don't use the excuse, " it's for the children.", as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at  Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through  4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe that everyone has the right to pray to his or her God.

Hilary Clinton is a carpet-munching lesbian.

My heroes are John Wayne, The Simpsons, and whoever cut "Dr. Quinn Medicine  Woman".

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I'm sure the Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.

I think Global Warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now when I'm freezing my ass through a cold winter?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-####-up already.

I want to know which church it is exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always a part of the problem, not the solution.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you are running from them.

I also think the police have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are to stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should run the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I hate those bastards standing at the intersection trying to sell me crap, or trying to guilt trip me into making donations to their cause. These people should be targets.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise never to delay the rest of us again.

I think beef jerky could possibly be the perfect food.

I believe it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.

I think Dr. Suess was a genius.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it issue for both of you. This even applies to the President of the United States.

If that makes me a bad American, then yes, I'm a BAD AMERICAN.

If you too are a BAD AMERICAN, please send the hyperlink to this page to everyone you know with a please read attached. We need our country back!!

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